fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
