There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
