im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
