you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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