I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Found the puke drawer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
