It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My liver just broke up with me...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
