dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
