god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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