All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
