What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
