I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
