So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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