i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
