Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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