yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
