There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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