omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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