when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
