That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I need to align my fucking chakras
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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