I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
