thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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