Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
