He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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