wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
