no, he came in my armpit
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
