I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
