she was so not down for the gang bang
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
