Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
