I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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