Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize