I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
