i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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