so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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