Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
