I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
