just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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