I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
