my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
