I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
