well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I still have a little drunk in my system
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
