idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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