I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
