I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
