Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize