I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize