so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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