he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I've blown a few things in my day
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
