NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
