Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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