I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
