just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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