butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This house was built for laser tag.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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