Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
