i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
