so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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