Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
