Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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