Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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