it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
