thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
