I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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