Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
