I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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