the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
