That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize