I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
