I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
