Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
