I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize