I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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