By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Your tits are I can't wait for
wakey wakey hands off snakey
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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